“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet”
I remember that quote from Shakespeare. I always loved it… But it has never became more a part of me then in the last couple of months.
It’s been over a year since I divorced, and what a journey it has been. As I was considering going back to my maiden name a few things bubbled up for me.
- The realization that my married name was of a patriarchal lineage and not mine.
- A realization that my maiden name was of a patriarchal lineage and only mine because of birth and old traditions.
- The fact that I don’t identify with either of the last names anymore.
- AND a deep desire to put an end to our unconscious patriarchal systems and be part of creating new matriarchal lineage and traditions.
I mean, what if my daughter could choose a last name and she shared it with our future women to come?
The process of choosing a name that fit was EASY. The more challenging activity has been changing the 50-ish accounts associated with my name… not just credit cards, drivers license, house, and insurance, but passports and frequent flyer numbers as well… A month long process I still happen to be in the middle of.
Which brings me to one more epiphany… Why have us women been taking the last names of our husbands? This old tradition that showed ownership… Ownership of a woman from a father to a husband.
A tradition that no longer fits.
I have been my own person since birth, financially supporting myself since I was 17 years old, and supporting everyone else around me, my whole life...
Why wouldn’t I have a name that is MINE?
Today, I will not celebrate the colonization of the native Americans, I think we are all smarter, and wiser than that. However, today I will celebrate what I am thankful for.
My freedom to choose me. My awareness to see past limitations. My ability to change course and create something new for the future. And most of all… I am thankful to now be called….
Because as Shakespeare said… “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”